


A Sensei's Worst Fear

by siyrean



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 01:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3362468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siyrean/pseuds/siyrean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life and death situations are nothing for a seasoned Jounin, especially when faced with a much greater threat - teenagers going through puberty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sensei's Worst Fear

"Ah, there you are Kakashi!" Gai's voice boomed from the entrance of the bar. "We've been looking for you."

The man's eye drifted over from his slumped posture at the bar to see his rival giving his trademark good guy pose. Kakashi's eye squinted, watching the day light illuminated Gai as though he was some heavenly being, coming forth to guide he and his fellow early afternoon bar flies to the light. It was just not right.

A cough sounded just behind the man and Asuma and Kurenai stepped into view.

"You gave us a bit of a scare there when we saw you running," Asuma explained coming forward to take a seat to his left. Kakashi remained on his stool, shaking his head slightly.

"You seemed awfully shaken," Kurenai said as she took the remaining seat to Asuma's side and Gai flanked Kakashi on the other.

Again the grey haired man shook his head, looking down into the half drunk amber liquid he held in his hand. Asuma and Kurenai looked at each other with concern; this was far from the Jounin's typical behavior.

"Kakashi, what is it? What's happened?" Gai asked, no longer using his over exaggerated booming voice.

Kakashi could feel everyone tense around him. They were fearing the worst now, he could tell. Though he'd rank this right up there, he still in good conscious, could not allow them to worry in suspense. The man took a deep breath and sat up a bit. "It- it's Sakura…"

They stared intently, somewhat relieved he used is instead of was.

"I don't understand it," the man continued on. "She was supposed to like Sasuke you see. Love, or obsessed, or whatever, but it was always him. How did that change?"

The other Jounin all let out a breath they hadn't realised they'd been holding. Asuma was the first to speak. "Is that all? Kakashi you shouldn't worry us like that."

"You don't understand," he answered, continually shaking his head and looking far too pale. "She was supposed to like Sasuke. Sasuke, not- not... It just doesn't make any sense."

"Let me guess," Kurenai said with a smirk. She leaned into the bar so she could see him around the other Jounin. "You thought she still liked Sasuke but then found her and Naruto doing something you'd rather not have seen. Am I right?"

Gai and Asuma immediately flinched but Kakashi made no move.

"Ah, so the springtime of youth has finally caught up to your young students," Gai announced, being the first one to recover. "Why, that is nothing to be troubled about. It is a natural and beautiful thing!"

Asuma grimaced, having rather not had that mental image implanted into his head.

"No," Kakashi replied gruffly. "No, it was much worse than that."

"I'm not sure that there can be a much worse than that," Asuma muttered quietly to himself.

It was then Kakashi turned to look him straight in the eye. "She tried to kiss me. Sakura, tried to kiss me."

The silenced followed the man's confession was deafening, then a moment later it was broken by Kurenai's sudden burst of laughter. Kakashi scowled at the woman as she doubled over, clutching her sides.

"Hey now, Kurenai," Asuma said, giving her a peculiar look. "This is serious."

Kurenai snorted, barely able to contain her mirth. "Serious? Are you kidding me?"

Gai patted Kakashi shoulder in what he hoped was a sympathetic gesture but for once the excitable Jounin was speechless.

"It's not funny," Kakashi replied miserably and then took another sip from his glass. "We were all sparing and I came upon her alone in the woods. And she- and then she- and she…"

There was little that could phase the infamous copy ninja, they all knew, but right now he looked like a man who'd just seen his first war.

"And what did you do?" Gai asked solemnly.

"The only sane thing I could think of," Kakashi answered. "Ran like hell, then started to drink. I figure if I keep at it, I'll discover this day never happened... or at least kill the section of the brain that thinks it has."

Asuma's eyes widened as the corner of him mouth twitched. "So you just left her there?"

The Jounin nodded, returning his eyes to his glass. "What else could I have done?"

Kurenai was shaking her head, disbelieving what she was hearing. "You men," she let out, still unable to keep a straight face. "A bunch of idiots, the lot of you. Scared of a teenage girl."

The man flinched. "You don't understand…"

"Oh please," she continued on. "What girl doesn't get a crush on her sensei at one point or another? It's just a phase, soon enough she'll realise you're just another old guy like the rest of us."

He couldn't help but scoff slightly.

"And what the hell were you doing, leaving her all alone like that? Instead of leaving her there, confused and humiliated, maybe you could have, I don't know, tried to let her down gently or somthing?"

Kakashi glared. "When faced with an unknown and highly dangerous threat, retreat and reassess is the best option. Just be grateful you don't have to worry about such things."

She raised an eyebrow. "What, you think girls are the only ones to go through puberty? I've seen Kiba readjust his pants enough times after sparing with me to get the hint. I wouldn't be surprised if something like this happens to any one of you." The Jounin all looked at her, vaguely horrified.

"I'm serious," she said, looking particularly smug. "Any single one."

.

Later that week.

.

Team Gai were sparing at their usual training ground. Lee had been chosen to go out with another team so it was Tenten and Neji verses Gai, getting the rare chance to face their sensei together, without the other boy taking all his attention.

Gai successfully avoided Tenten's volley of steel while keeping Neji at bay but missed the quick wink she gave to her teammate before she disappeared from sight. Neji didn't allow him the moment to consider what they were up to and moved in for another taijutsu blitz that pushed them both into the forest before disappearing as well.

Gai frowned, wondering what his students were up to. He felt no trace of their presence and began to search the forest, keeping his eye out for another of Tenten's volleys. It was then his foot hit something unnatural. His eyes widened in understanding. They'd maneuvered him into a trap.

Unable to move quickly enough, Gai found his feet kicked out from under him. He'd been expecting an attack from above, not Tenten from below.

Neji watched from the side, unable to keep the smirk from his face as Tenten successfully detonated the new capture jutsu she'd been working on. "You're all mine now, sensei," he heard her say triumphantly. "Pinned you."

Tenten grinned over her shoulder to where he was hiding, just in case Gai decided this didn't count as a successful defeat. Neji's eyes then flicked back to his sensei, trying to gage his reaction but what he saw wasn't what he expected at all. Usually when any of them actually managed to get one over on him, he'd be beaming quite literally with pride, but for some reason the look on his face spoke of shock and fear?

"No, Tenten," he heard the man scarcely say from his trapped position on the ground. "Not you too, child."

"Eh?" she replied, stepping back a bit and releasing the trap's chakra strings.

"I know, I understand. I should have prepared for this. I mean it's only natural and given whom I am…"

Tenten looked over her shoulder, giving her best what the hell look to her comrade. Neji could only equal her in confusion.

"But you can't. Do you understand? We can't, and I'm sorry."

And now Gai was crying while embracing her in a heartfelt hug...

"Uh, sensei?" the girl tried tentatively, pulling back awkwardly from his embrace.

"Oh Tenten," he cried, taking her by the shoulders and giving her what Neji figured was supposed to be a deep and meaningful look, but the boy was inclined to liken it to a silent plea for medical help. "I know this must be hard for you but you'll move on, I know it. It'll be alright."

It then it dawned on him. Tenten once again nervously looked over her shoulder, now starting to seriously fear for her sensei's mental health, only to see Neji's face twisting in horror.

"Well, I think that's enough for today." The girl turned back at the sound of his voice. "Let Neji know, and Tenten," Gai paused until she gave a slightly scared smile before once again, hugging her tight. "I love you like the daughter I never had. Never forget that."

Tenten's mouth dropped as she stood there rigidly. Their sensei then disappeared in puff of smoke and an instant later, Neji was by her side.

"Neji," the girl said with an odd calm about her. "I think Gai sensei's finally lost it."

"I think he lost it long before we ever came into the picture," Neji replied, still looking on with disgust.

"What if my trap broke him?" she considered with a slight frown. "I haven't really tested it before."

The boy raised an eyebrow. "You actually didn't catch on to what he was getting at?"

"No… Why? What is it?"

Neji leaned in to whisper in her ear.

Tenten's mouth gaped for a second before she screamed, "He thinks I what?!"

.

 

In the village

.

Asuma chuckled, watching Ino and Sakura converse as they entered the floral shop without noticing him. First Kakashi and then Gai… though he still had his suspicions about the second one. Well, he thought smugly to himself, with Ino on his team, it was nothing he would ever have to worry about. Even if she did give up on her long time crush, the girl was completely disposed towards the pretty boys, as he liked to think of them. He was glad to say that he would never-

"So he started babbling at me about who knows what kind of nonsense, and he brings up my undying love for Sasuke, as he puts it and, well it was just weird."

Ino listened to her friend sympathetically. "Mmm, well Kakashi sensei always was a bit strange. Personally I think I lucked out with mine." Asuma couldn't help the smirk a little. "Anyways, I'm glad I got over crush with Sasuke."

"You did?" Sakura asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking." The girl sighed. "Why go for a boy when you can have a man."

Asuma froze.

"Oh, really? And what brought this on all of a sudden?"

"I don't know," Ino smirked. "Guess I just discovered my type."

"And that would be?" Sakura continued to prompt.

"I think I like the rugged type," the girl confessed. "You know, broad shoulders, laidback attitude, scruffy facial hair-" Asuma's heart was suddenly pounding in his ears. "And a particular item placed between those sexy, sexy lips. I just can't help but love a rebel."

Sakura giggled just as a blur of somebody suddenly pushed passed her and out the door. "Hey, was that Asuma sensei?"

Ino laughed. "I'm pretty sure it was. Didn't even realise he was in here, and now we've probably scared him for life with our girl talk. Poor guy."

Sakura just shook her head in mirth. "Ah well. So anyways, you really think Genma looks good with that goatee?"

"Sakura," Ino began. "That man could even make that awful beard Asuma has, look good." She sighed, lost in thought for a moment and then seemed to remember she wasn't alone. "So still no idea what Naruto did to Kakashi?"

Sakura shrugged. "All he says is 'caused a distraction.' Whatever that means."

.

On the other side of the village.

.

Shino let out a frustrated breath as Kiba paused to straighten his pants for what had to be the fifteenth time.

"Hey, don't look at me like that," Kiba barked at the stoically standing boy. "These new pants just don't fit right."

"They would fit right if you just took it out," Shino replied crisply, causing Kiba's mouth to drop. "Why? Because Hinata has the Byakugan and I doubt she's impressed by a roll of socks. Or did you forget that point?"

Kiba's mouth snapped shut and his face turned instantly red.

Idiot, was the only thought that came to mind for the Aburame as his teammate hastily turned while sticking a hand down his pants.

.

Back in the bar.

.

"Another round for you fellows?" the bartender asked.

The three men nodded silently, none of them daring to leave the one place their underage students couldn't follow. Kurenai just smirked at the trio. Still got it, she thought smugly, adding a little extra sway to her hips as she wandered out to meet up with team eight.

.


End file.
